125. Mindfulness and Resilience for Today’s School Leaders with Jason Craige Harris

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[00:00:00] Welcome to Mindful School Marketing, your go-to podcast for personal and professional growth. We’re school marketers, business owners, and moms passionate about connecting other school professionals with tools and strategies for success. We love solving problems, exploring new ideas, and thinking outside the box.

Let’s transform your school and life starting right now.

Aubrey: Welcome to Mindful School Marketing. I’m Aubrey Burch. 

Tara: And I’m Tara Clays. Today we’re joined by Jason Craig Harris. Jason is a strategist and writer working at the intersection of culture, conflict, leadership, and Impact. Through his essays, talks and advisory work, he explores how power, perception, and dignity, shape human connection and institutional life.

A trusted facilitator and mediator. Jason uses storytelling and humor to help individuals and organizations navigate complexity and pursue accountable values driven success. He is the CEO of Perception, strata Strategies, [00:01:00] and a senior advisor at Pollyanna. Welcome, Jason. Thanks for joining us. 

Jason: Oh, thanks so much for having me.

I appreciate you both. 

Aubrey: Yeah, Jason, we’re really excited you’re here. and I can’t wait to dive into this topic and to, hear your wisdom and expertise in action. You come from a very diverse background. So from teaching and leading, DEI work in schools to consulting with organizations on leadership and culture.

So can you tell us a little bit about like, how did your journey. You know, the journey lead you to focus on resilience and mindful leadership because that’s really key to our podcast and something I know our audience would love to hear. 

Jason: Thanks so much for the question. You know, I’ve been, um, thinking about leadership, uh, ever since I was in middle school.

Uh, I, I was a, a student leader and then by the time I got to high school, I had created our student government e experience and wrote bylaws and, and all of that. And so. And I was also a, a, a sort of a youth minister at my, at my church’s local youth group. [00:02:00] And so I became fascinated about, about this work of like, you know, how do we take a group from point A to point B and, um, what are the skills and tools that are needed?

And I think in the, the earliest days of my. Learning to be a leader. You know, I probably over-indexed on the external work of leadership. You know, like you have to be someone who can string some words together and say something impactful. You, you need to be able to sort of identify values and, and mission to drive a group forward.

But over time I became really interested in the inner life of a leader and part of that was formed in me by going off to divinity school and spending three years really thinking about the intersection of, of ethics, leadership, and the inner life. And what are the kinds of dispositions and habits that a leader has to have in order to lead effectively and, and particularly, in order to use power effectively, I mean leadership and [00:03:00] influence, like there’s tremendous power in being identified as a leader in one’s community. And with that power comes, in my view, great responsibility and also the risk that one might not use that responsibility or deploy that power in a thoughtful sort of grounded way.

And, uh, I started to become so interested over time and like. Uh, studying different leadership models, and I would actually study my managers and supervisors, you know, and I would, I would study, uh, leaders that I would encounter out in the world when I would go off to conferences or when I would see challenges in the world, I would study sort of like how did that leader address that challenge?

And I started realizing like, oh my goodness, these leaders. Who are addressing challenges in effective ways are often doing so from an incredibly grounded place internally. And then I would see other leaders who would uh, address things not as effectively. And I started saying, well, what, why is that?

And then [00:04:00] realized, oh wait, it’s, it’s because there was, the pre-work wasn’t done like the inner work of thinking about like, Hmm, how do I show up in this moment? How do I show up with care and thoughtfulness and groundedness and, um, just hadn’t, hadn’t been done. And, and part of it is because the exigencies and the urgencies of leadership perpetually pull us outside of ourselves.

Right? Um, but before I get ahead of myself, I just have to say that, that that connection between the external and the internal has been a constant obsession of mine for, for many, many years. Despite the various places where I’ve been at. I’ve been thinking about leadership. Conflict and relationships and how we get all three of these domains to work better and to be, uh, more oriented toward, uh, human flourishing.

Tara: There’s so much there. And I know we had a conversation before we started and I knew this was gonna be a really engaging conversation from the outset because of, because of all the things that you’ve done, um, and the things that you’re passionate about, and also how. You have mindfulness as part of the definition of what you [00:05:00] do, which of course, you know, really fits in well with, with what we talk about here.

So you describe yourself as a conflict mediator and a mindfulness teacher. How do these two disciplines inform each other in your work with schools and organizations? 

Jason: Mm-hmm. So it’s a really good question. Um. So I, let me go back in time. So I, I trained on conflict work with uh, a woman who’s a shaman actually.

Uh, and so she’s a conflict mediator, conflict trainer, and, and a shaman. Her name is, uh, Elizabeth Clements, one of my favorite people in the entire universe. And in training with her on, on conflict. I had thought I was going into a training where we would be concentrating on like, just all the mechanics of conducting a mediation or some kind of group conflict process.

You know, I told myself, okay, like, we’re gonna focus in on that. Like, you know, through the 100 hours of training we got, we did all of that. [00:06:00] But like the first part of the training was actually focused on. Kind of our own interior journey with respect to conflict, our own relationship to conflict. And, and part of, you know, what she convinced us of was this idea that, you know, to be a conflict mediator and to engage with conflict, you have to have deep self-awareness.

Particularly because you have to determine. What is going to be your approach to managing this conflict? And even before that, you have to determine whether or not you’re the right person to engage in the conflict work. Like what happens if you encounter something that doesn’t involve you, but triggers an element of your own lived experience that’s unhealed or unprocessed, right?

What happens if the way in which a person in the conflict behaves in a way that that unsettles you and suddenly you are slipping into the dynamic of the conflict? William Ury has this amazing idea where he says, and he’s the, uh, co-founder of the program on negotiation at Harvard. And he, he says, [00:07:00] you know, the best metaphor for thinking about conflict is this notion of getting to the balcony.

And the idea is that imagine that you’re on a stage and there’s complete mayhem in this. Theater. The actors are at each other’s throats. People forgot their lines. People are blaming and shaming left and right, and you’re like caught up in this whole dynamic and you’re like, oh my gosh. Like you’re completely frazzled and destabilized by it all.

And the question becomes, what is the best vantage point for you to get to in order to think your way out, to strategize your way out of that? The best vantage point is the balcony in the theater. You get to the balcony, you look down, oh my gosh. Now you can see things with a greater level of clarity. His point is that that’s a metaphor for conflict work.

Being able to get to the balcony, which by the way is first and foremost an internal movement within oneself, right? Um, and so this is what I, I learned in my early days of mediating conflicts was like, wow, I actually have to do some, I gotta do some work here internally. And that right there sort of.

Reinforced a pathway [00:08:00] that I had already been on for years, which was this pathway around mindfulness and meditation and contemplative practice, which I had been doing for years. Uh, and, and this work around conflict. So as a conflict person. Uh, before I enter into a room where I’m gonna be with people in conflict, I will often pause and slow down and think a little bit and look inward.

I’m doing some breathing exercises and I, I’m thinking to myself, okay, what, what is it that I’m. Feeling internally what is it that I need to shift about my posture or about how I’m breathing so that I can feel more grounded and settled? What are these feelings that are coming up for me in advance of going into this conflict?

How do I speak back to those feelings or hold them and elevate them? You know, sometimes I will go in with this great anxiety and fear that I’m not gonna be able to solve the conflict. So if I go into the conflict without addressing that, I might actually engage in ways that are not helpful, right?

Because I, I might go [00:09:00] in with a, I have to solve it. It’s my, it is, I have to go on with my invisible cape, y’all, and I gotta hop in this conflict and I gotta solve the whole thing. But when I can pause and process. Before the conflict mediation, I can say, okay, yes, you’re having anxiety, you’re feeling the anxiety here because you want, you care and you wanna solve the conflict.

But Jason, it is not your job to solve the conflict. It is your job to witness the conflict and to support these parties and moving forward. You don’t know what’s best for them, but they know you have to hold the container so they can find what’s best for them. That right there is. A work of mindfulness that is a work of self-awareness, that is a work of holding and processing internally before I step into the space.

And I will tell you a lot of people when I’m mediaing a conflict, they will say, oh my goodness, just your presence in this space has helped to stabilize the space. Just the gravitas and the calm that you bring [00:10:00] into the space. What we know from the research is that anxiety can be contagious and if I don’t set the tone internally, I will not be in a position to set the tone externally in the conflict situation.

So that’s for me is how sort of that mindfulness and that mediation work, mindfulness and mediation, if you will, I think go hand in hand.

Tara: I love that so much. I feel the calm myself. This is helpful to me.

Aubrey: I, I really appreciate that. I often think, I mean, I was just thinking when you were talking about like, I need to start practicing this at home with my tweens. I mean yes, in other settings, but for sure what you described being in the balcony, remember being in the balcony. This was incredibly helpful.

Thank you for that perspective. I know that you do a lot of leadership work and that, you know. Resiliency is a word that often comes up. And I think especially now, like when we’re thinking about school, school leaders right now, our, our amazing marketers or school leaders, they’re feeling like super stretched right now.

Right. Emotionally, financially, [00:11:00] even perhaps spiritually, you know? What do you think resilient leadership looks like at the, in this moment, in this time period for schools? 

Jason: Mm-hmm. You all, these are some great questions. I, you know, I’m, I’m thinking about well, two things really. Right. Let me start with I, what I think is a problematic notion of resilience.

So in my earliest days of thinking about resilience, I used to think about it as like the ability to power through. You just gotta adapt whatever’s thrown at you, make it work. Stop complaining, get off your behinds and do something right. And. That framing of resilience is actually not all that helpful.

It’s also not that, it’s not all that practical, um, because it assumes that humans don’t have limits. It assumes that one can skip the process of becoming resilient to just be resilient, like, hey. Be resilient. Like, what do you do with that? Like, I hate when people tell me like, just, just just do it. I’m like, what?

What’s the process? Give me the how, not just the what. [00:12:00] So what I’m learning from the research is that suppression does not equal steadiness. Right. And so sometimes we can think if we just suppress all the unpleasant emotions, we can be resilient. The truth is, is that what we suppress, and this is kind of the, you know, Freudian notion comes back to haunt us.

And so resilience is actually about the capacity that we can cultivate to name what we’re experiencing. And the research tells us that, that if we can name emotions, particularly tricky ones, it can reduce amygdala activation by 30%. Just by naming the Boogie person that’s looming in the background. If we can name it, we can tame it.

If we can name it, we can change it. And so resilience, first and foremost is about recognizing, gosh, I’m having a challenging day. Gosh, this, these conditions both internal to the school or perhaps external in the world, are actually not conducive to my immediate human flourishing. And I just have to name that.

And secondly, [00:13:00] once I name that I can begin to think about is the, am I telling myself a story that disempowers me from any external exercise, activity, or movement? You know, we can tell ourselves stories where the problem is just so comprehensive. So massive, so all consuming that we narrate ourselves out of our own agency to make a difference.

And so what I often say to people is like, once you name what you’re experiencing, secondly, then you perhaps engage in some self-soothing practices, some deep breathing, some sipping of high quality H2O, which can help you de-stress over a 20 minute period. Once you do that, thirdly, you exactly hot, come on, somebody, Aubrey, I love it.

Gotta have that water. Then you can begin to question the stories that you’re telling yourself. That perhaps are limiting your agency. Now, I’m not suggesting that any of us should think of ourselves as, uh, immediately you know, omnipotent, that, that, that we have the power to change everything. What I am saying is we [00:14:00] do want to remind ourselves of the one small next step that we can take.

That’s, that’s the work. Like I can’t solve everything. Mother Theresa says, do the thing in front of you, but what’s one small next step that I can take? But that’s an internal movement to get to that, right? You name the feeling, you process it through, the self-soothing, you know, activities, exercises, and then you move into questioning that story and thinking about the agency that it might take to show up.

Now, there are two broad practices here for me. One practice is what I think of as routines. What are the daily routines that I can engage in that help me to lower cortisol and adrenaline and to lengthen or extend or expand my capacity to show up in more powerful, more thoughtful ways? And so I actually, every single day I have a contemplative practice that I do.

I do not skip. Now that’s not because I’m a particularly noble person. You all, [00:15:00] that’s because you don’t want to see un meditating Jason. Right? That’s the Jason. You don’t want, you don’t want the Jason that hasn’t done that work. Right? People are like, do you meditate for yourself? No. I meditate for everyone else.

Who’s gonna encounter me? I wanna make sure that I show up with care and thoughtfulness. And so I meditate every single day. I engage in contemplative practice. Now, what that, what that helps me to do is that helps me to become more aware of my feelings, more aware of unprocessed emotions. When I slow down and I look inside, I’m like, oh gosh, there’s this, I have to think, I gotta hold this.

I gotta, you know, so that right there for me is the practice of learning how to return to my body. Learning how to feel what I’m feeling and to move through it, not stay within it. That that lengthens my capacity and expands my capacity to be able to show up in situations that I can’t predict, but will find me like, if you don’t find trouble, trouble may find you.

I can assure you. [00:16:00] Right? So that’s the proactive stuff that we do in order to be ready for challenging situations. Otherwise, you’re gonna always be running on E. You’re never gonna have. The energy, every little thing will destabilize you, but like that’s how you know if every little thing destabilizes you, every little thing sends you into a tizzy, it means your routines are off.

You haven’t done enough work in advance of human challenges to be able to strengthen your capacity to deal and to move through it. The second component. Is what I think of as micro practices. Micro practices are the things you do in the moment in the situation to be able to shift the reactivity you might be experiencing.

You know, when I become highly reactive, I am tempted probably like the rest of us. I have these impulses, sometimes the impulses toward fight where I’m going to tell that person off. I’m gonna give them all the words, you know, either verbally or on email. You know, keyboard courage is real. You know, people will, I, I’ve been the [00:17:00] person that sends that four paragraph reactive email that nobody reads, right?

So, right. So I might be tempted to fight or to flee the situation. Or to freeze, I just shut down, right? Or to fawn where I just engage in people pleasing. I’m gonna say, whenever I have to say to get outta the situation unscathed, or maybe I fester, I let that situation fester below the surface, never quite addressing the issues, or I rush to fix the thing even though I don’t fully understand what I’m fixing.

All of those impulses are normal and natural, and that’s the body trying to protect us. Absolutely. But if I’m dominated by those impulses without any mindfulness, any interrogation, any awareness, I am likely to stumble. And to make matters worse, the goal is never to act unconsciously. That’s what mindfulness shifts for us, because when we act unconsciously, there’s like a 60, 70% chance things will not go well.

Right? So micro practices are things I do in the moment. To not be enslaved by these impulses toward the [00:18:00] fix the flight, the fall. Micro practices are things like, before I respond to this email, I’m gonna give myself 24 hours. I’m gonna take a wheel around the block or a walk around the block. I’m gonna do a thick knot Han walking meditation, right?

I’m gonna do box breathing. Right. I’m gonna do belly breathing. I’m gonna do some body scans, right? I’m gonna do a, you know, a, a self-compassion meditation or a loving kindness meditation before I go into this meeting. You know, rather than scrolling on Instagram or TikTok, uh, or the New York Times Doom scrolling in between meetings.

Can I pause for 30 seconds to recenter myself before I go into this meeting? You know, those are the micro practices of things we do in the moment. So there are two things, again, proactive work we do, and then in the moment, work we do routines that we establish and micro practices that enable what I think of as resilience.

Now, Elena Aguilar says that resilience is about our ability to bounce back [00:19:00] and to be adaptive, and maybe even not just to survive, but to thrive.

Tara: Thank you. That’s a lot. And um, and I’ve tried to do some of those meditations and I always hear that they’re so good for you. And maybe in our show notes you can share some links to some of those so that people can reference them as well. I’m gonna talk a little bit about how all of this might apply to our audience.

Who are people who work in schools? You’ve talked about how leadership requires navigating complexity and uncertainty. You know, the, the challenges that that schools are facing right now. What are some of the cha biggest challenges that you see with the schools that you’ve worked with school leaders and, and what can you offer to help them meet those challenges with steadiness?

Jason: That’s a beautiful, beautiful question. Well, let me, let me say a couple of things. One, I, I wanna return to a point I made earlier this idea of routines and micro practices. And I just wanna say that [00:20:00] when I first started doing this work, I used to think to myself, oh gosh. I do, I have to have like an hour a day to do this stuff.

Like, what are you, what are you telling me? Like, like, I don’t have another hour in a day. I barely get a bathroom break. Like I, I can’t. But then I learned that it’s about the small things that I do consistently over time, right? The small things I do consistently over time. Can I do a one minute grounding exercise, a two minute somatic awareness, mindfulness exercise.

It’s about the small things that we do. That brings me to this question about being in schools and I wanna say that there is a great temptation in moments of urgency and uncertainty that we will all become transactional in how we engage with people and how we engage with problems. And transactions are the brief ways in which we engage with people and problems for the purpose of accomplishing a task and just getting things done.

You know, I often ask audiences in my seminars, how many of you are checklist people? You know? And like almost all the hands go up. And I’m like, exactly. We are driven by the [00:21:00] checklist. Now, not to say that we ever get to the end of that checklist because things always magically appear at the end of the day.

You know, but we’re driven by this desire to move urgent things forward. And one of the things I’ve seen happen in schools is I’ve seen some people gravitate toward extremes. In fact, I think this is like my grand theory of the human condition, like humans tend toward maximalism. So for example, I have been in situations where, um, leaders have.

Gravitated toward the transaction, like the urgency of the, now we gotta do it. We gotta do it now we gotta do it now we gotta do it now. And they’re just moving at a breakneck pace. The challenges there is that we’re doing lots of activity, but are those activities actually laddering up to the mission?

You know, are we actually having conversations about how those activities ladder up to the strategic plan? Right? When, when we’re engaging in a crisis situation, do we make a knee jerk reaction without consultation with other people who perhaps have different perspectives? Or [00:22:00] perhaps do we have consultation with those, um, whom our decision might impact before we make the decision?

So we, we, we run toward the urgency of the moment. Now, I’ve seen that happen. I, I’ve been in other situations where, you know, people. Kind of leave the transactional for the relational. And in the relational space, they’re just, they’re in conversations all day. They re-litigate every single decision. They can’t possibly land the plane.

I’m like, your plane is running outta fuel, y’all. You have to land the plane. Can’t land the plane. So I’ve seen both of those challenges in communities and what I would say is that our schools need us to hold the tension in the middle. We have to do some transactional things, and by that I mean we have to implement some decisions and drive work forward with clear accountabilities, ownership, timeline, communication, cadence, cascading of information throughout our schools.

Absolutely. That’s what I call the mechanics. We [00:23:00] also need the relational, the interaction. That’s what I call the dynamics, like the qualities of our relationships we need to be attending to making sure that people in our communities feel seen, heard, and valued. Right. That means listening sessions, focus groups.

That means slowing down to clarify our intent behind our decisions. It means taking in input and feedback. And by the way, reflecting back what we’ve heard people say so they know that we heard them, right? Doesn’t mean we have to agree. Them, but we do need to be clear about the fact that we have heard them and we’re considering their feedback.

That’s all in the relational space, and many schools are not holding that tension because the impulse that we would go toward one of the other, so strong, right? Humans tend toward binaries and dichotomies, which I think. Feel incredibly existentially, comforting in moments of tension, uncertainty, and conflict.

We rush toward the black and white, right? There’s no gray areas, no nuance, right? So what I would offer is what [00:24:00] Aristotle offers, which is the notion of the golden mean virtue lies in the midpoint between extremes. Deficiency on one hand. Access on the other, you know, too much relational work. On the one hand, too little relational work, too much transaction on the one hand, too little transactions on the other.

And so I think the work that I, that I see needed in schools, particularly from leadership teams that are shepherding schools through incredible change and uncertainty, is to hold that middle space. Lemme give you a practical tip on this. I think that before every major decision there has to be a pre-action review where we sit down and we, we game out the decision.

You know, I’m a strategist, so I think all the time about what are the multiple different pathways that we could take? What are the pros and cons of each? What are the resourcing needs of each? What’s the likelihood of the various kinds of impact of each, right? So that pre-action review before major decisions is essential for leadership teams.

[00:25:00] Right. Consultation with their communities about major decisions through various, you know, mixed methods approach for collecting data. Critically important, right? That’s a concrete thing that I can do that helps me to balance urgency and reflection. The second thing is, once a decision is made, oh gosh, we must do a post action review.

We had to come back together before we run along to the next thing and talk through. How did it go? How do we know that we were successful? Right? What, what were the metrics that we had established and where’s the data pointing to, right? In moments of uncertainty and crisis, it can feel like those things are nice to haves, but in my view, they’re essential.

Why? Because the research tells us that the teams that are in the most resilient, most productive, right, are teams that have psychological safety. Freedom from the fear of shame, humiliation, or retaliation as Donna Hicks might say, or a shared belief in interpersonal risk taking, as Amy Edmondson might say.

And they [00:26:00] have a reflective capacity, right? Because like how do you learn from your mistakes if you don’t reflect on what happened? A lot of teams do not do reflection work. And that is really a challenge. And so I think that in the midst of uncertainty, we hold the tension between urgency and reflection, interacting, transacting, right, the mechanics and the dynamics.

We make space to have conversations and we make space for reflection as a part of our routine. That’s how we build resilience in the midst of uncertainty and crisis. That’s how we engage in adaptive learning. 

Aubrey: That’s so amazing. I think this is such a relevant conversation. I’m thinking about the schools that I work with.

Like some of them are, uh, you know, are considering like big changes within their school, like raising tuition, you know, beyond, you know, the normal amount that’s gonna impact like stakeholders. Like what is the, you know, basically you’re outlining kind of. A system for doing it like this is kind of the way that we could work through these things without getting stuck somewhere or [00:27:00] going one off to one side or another.

For example, I see a lot of schools doing that. That piece where they’re transactional. They’re like, okay, let’s do this. Right. But like you said, they’re not kind of thinking and reflecting on what are the, who are the people who are gonna be impacted? What data do we have? What have we thought through the strategy behind this and, and the potential outcomes and impact.

Um, and then there’s the others that get stuck in the relational. Piece where nothing’s moving forward. We are mired down, nothing’s happening, nothing’s moving forward. So I do appreciate that and I know our schools will as well. So thank you for sharing that. Um, I also appreciated what you said about like that inner work that has to happen, and I think that was a great reminder.

To all of us. Um, and I would say distractions are real every day and every moment. And so you said like that, that you know, almost, I don’t wanna being present or being. Conscious of like what you’re doing is really important and [00:28:00] something, a good reminder for all of us. Now this is the part of the show where we move into our rapid fire questions.

So I, I’m wondering if you’re ready for them. Are you ready for a rapid fire? 

Jason: I’m getting ready. I’m, I’m mindfully collecting myself so that I can be ready for the rapid fire. 

Tara: Awesome. Great. 

Aubrey: Yeah. All right. This is like something that we all look forward to and you know, I’ll kick up the kick off. The first one, which happens to be Terra, i’s favorite one, um, which is, if you could put one book as mandatory reading in the high school curriculum, what would it be?

Jason: Oh my goodness. I love Invisible Man by Ralph Allison. I think that would be a, that’s a fantastic read and, uh, I think, uh, yeah, 100% Ralph. I’ll send this from them. 

Tara: Great. I think someone else has mentioned that too. We have a good reads list where we have collected over, over what we’re on episode a hundred and some right now, so we have hundreds of books on our list, which is awesome, so thank you for that.

The next question is, what is one app you could lot not live without? 

Jason: Oh my goodness. It’s Insight [00:29:00] timer. It’s my, uh, meditation app that I, I love 100. 

Tara: Perfect. 

Aubrey: I second that. I love that. I love the, the, i I do a lot of sleep meditations. I love them. They’re so amazing, such great creators on there. For sure.

Um, what are you reading right now? 

Jason: I’m reading a, a book by William Ry called Possible, and it’s a book on, uh, conflict transformation work, and it’s fantastic. 

Tara: Great. Thank you so much. This has been amazing. Our last question is what is, I mean, you’ve given us so much of this already, but let’s just wrap it up with one great piece of advice that you’d like to leave us with today.

I 

Jason: wanna leave you with three S’s. Um, my, my three S’s would be, or maybe it’s four, it would be, uh, soul, the work that we need to engage in internally. It would mean story, the work that we need to do in collecting the stories of our community so we understand what’s coming up for them. And the third one would be strategy.

How we optimize for human flourishing. And the last one is, if we do soul and story and [00:30:00] strategy, well, it leads to steadiness. 

Aubrey: Excellent. I really feel like that should be like on your wall. Is it on your wall, because that would be awesome. 

Jason: It needs to be. 

Tara: Yes. S’s that’s wonderful. Well thank you again, Jason.

Where can people find you online? 

Jason: Uh, people can find me, uh, on LinkedIn and also on my website, which is www.jchheals.com. 

Tara: Excellent. Thank you. I’m gonna listen to this one again and I’m gonna send it to some friends too ’cause I think all the things that you’ve mentioned are super helpful. Jason, thanks for joining us.